Long term Capel resident, John Nimmo, and his music producer colleague, Ian Rosam, have written a song designed to highlight the impact of Tunbridge Wells Borough Council’s (TWBC) plans to build thousands of houses in the Parish.
For many years, John has been an amateur musician and like many has been spending more time on his passion during lockdown.
Since the plans for Capel were first announced by TWBC back in May 2019, John has shared frustration over the Parish’s potential destruction with thousands of residents and Save Capel supporters. It was while in a local community Zoom meeting, where someone mentioned the plans would see a conurbation the size of Monaco being created across Capel, that inspiration struck.
The following Saturday, over the course of just a couple of hours, “Passport to Monaco” was born, drawing inspiration from the Ealing comedy “Passport to Pimlico”. Like the 1949 film, the song follows the premise that Capel residents should buy the land due for development and form a republic to secure its protection.
John recorded the instrument tracks for the song – all but the drums – himself. He then passed the recordings on to Ian, a professional sound and music engineer who has worked with bands including Dr Feelgood during his career. Ian pulled everything together, added a drum track and produced the song you can hear today.
Alongside the song’s humour, the key message John has tried to get across is that we should be taking the time to step back, acknowledge the current circumstances – including the impacts of the pandemic – and to develop a Local Plan that meets the area’s housing needs in a sustainable way that has the support of residents.
If you enjoy the song and appreciate the considerable effort John and Ian have put into its creation, you can help us to challenge the Local Plan with a donation. Any amount, large or small, will help the Save Capel campaign to cover the legal and expert costs that are needed to fight TWBC and those promoting the developments.
Please head to www.savecapel.com/donate
We would like to offer our thanks to John, Ian and everyone who has sent us the pictures featured in the video.
I was sitting on a Zoom call on a January evening
When I heard about the Borough Council’s plans
To build a plot of houses, thousands upon thousands
All across our green and pleasant land (Jerusalem!).
The rationale seems crazy, the planning guys were lazy
They wouldn’t change their minds or understand
That the depth of local feeling has reached up to the ceiling
When we came to realise what was at hand.
“D’you know where this is going to go? A blot the size of Monaco!”
From Tonbridge all the way to Paddock Wood
It’s so far away from Tunbridge Wells, and it’s so rotten that it smells
Like someone somewhere is up to no good.
The Borough pursued Teacher, till he saw that he could feature
A charette to make a million pounds or two
By concreting the Green Belt, building roads (that go) to nowhere
And that cut our lovely pastureland right through.
We’re not allowed to muster and protest about this bluster
While the Council seize their chance to push it through
In the midst of this pandemic and throughout the whole polemic
We just need to figure out what we can do.
But through the Council’s scheming, I began to get to dreaming
Of a way to beat the planners at their game
I thought of an old movie of a London-based republic
It was called “Passport to Pimlico” by name.
So we’ll set it up as Monaco (UK)
We’ll buy up all the property, that’s where we want to stay
We’ll buy up all the houses, they’re all packed together tight
And not a patch of greenery in sight.
Think of all the benefits a republic could bring
Getaways and holidays beginning every spring
It’s built upon huge flood plains with water everywhere
Go swimming, sailing, boating, fishing all without a care.
We’d set up our own government and start to build a wall
Right around New Monaco, build tax-free shopping malls
Convert the daft new road into an airport for the planes
And build a new casino and a racetrack round the lanes.
Come and see New Monaco, and get on board the plane
Pack your trunks and snorkel for the flooding when it rains
Also pack your gas mask for pollution from the cars
You can wear it for your cocktails on the street outside the bars.
Death Race 2020 on the new road, we could play
Targeting our villagers when they get in the way,
Let’s make the game real barmy when we lay out all the rules
By making sure the bypass finish line is at the school.
I want a passport to Monaco (UK)
We’ll buy up all the property, that’s where we want to stay
We’ll buy up all the houses that are packed together tight
With not the slightest patch of green in sight.
Don’t you think this all sounds like a much better idea
Than trying to pretend that logic ever mattered here
We could set up state visits for kings and presidents and queens
To visit Monaco (UK), the land that once was green.
I want a passport to Monaco (UK)
We’ll buy up all the property, that’s where we want to stay
We’ll buy up all the houses that are packed together tight
With not the slightest patch of green in sight.
I think we need to take a step back from this stupid plan
And to say you won’t review it ‘cos you haven’t got the time
Is nothing short of reckless, ‘cos so many things have changed
Since the plans were drawn up, and so to stick with them is strange.
We’d like to trust the Councillors to do their very best
They need to understand the depth of feeling here, no less
To recognise the Capel plan is seriously flawed
And remember – it’s the voters here who keep you in a job.
I want a passport to Monaco (UK)
We’ll buy up all the property, that’s where we want to stay
We’ll buy up all the houses that are packed together tight
With not the slightest patch of green in sight.
